There are many reasons people ask me the questions they do. Because I’m a new author. Because I’m almost 25 and still single. Because I believe in God, love Jesus, and consider myself a Christian but am currently between churches. Because, to a lot of people, it doesn’t seem like I have very many friends, no matter how big a friends list I have on Facebook. Because I’m an introvert and don’t mind telling you why.
Does it bother me when people ask me, frankly, intrusive questions? No, not really. I don’t mind. Does it, after a while, get a little tiring? Maybe, but I won’t complain. Let’s just say there is one question I get asked A LOT, which will probably end up being my main focus in this post.
In about a month I’m going to turn 25. The question I most often get asked?
“Are you in a relationship yet?”
Does it bother me? Well, to a certain point I think it would bother anyone who is almost 25 and hasn’t met someone special yet. Do I understand why people ask me? Honestly? Not really. I don’t think I’m walking around with a sign hanging about my neck that says ‘I’m lonely and want a relationship. I’m almost 25 so why hasn’t it happened yet?’
I learned something about myself a long time ago and I kept it under wraps.
I’m not upset that I’m single. I’m actually pretty happy and content with it right now and have been very happy and content with it for several years.
Now this might not seem like a huge revelation to some of you. But to others, it probably is. I grew up under the impression that being in a relationship was very important for a girl anywhere from the ages of 18 to 21. When I passed the age of 21 with no relationship in sight, my self-esteem plummeted … for about two minutes.
I think that’s why the question gets tiring after a while. People put too much emphasis on the importance of it. Do I think they want me to be happy? Of course! People who ask me that question love me, I know that. But I think what gets to me is the idea that they think I’m NOT happy right now. The phrase: “We just want you to be as happy as we are” can be very … irritating. I feel like rolling my eyes and shrieking, “What makes you think I’m unhappy where I am?!?!” instead of my usual tight-lipped smile and whispered, “Thanks, I understand.”
Now, this is not an attack. Like I said, I’ve been asked this question by people who love me and want the best for me. I think the issue is more that a lot of people think they know what’s best for me. Because they think they know me. I’ve talked about this before I think. I’m the best introvert I know. I’m a one on one person. You put me in a crowd, I’ll shrink and won’t say a word. You put me at a picnic table in a wide open space with only four other people, you might not be able to shut me up.
My point? I had to learn there was nothing wrong with me because I’m still single. There’s nothing wrong with who I am. I’m the best me there is and that makes me a unique person with things to say and contribute. Yes, I’m quiet, introverted and a lot of times prefer my comfort zone. That doesn’t mean I won’t take a chance and step out of it once in a while. In the right situation, I will.
I’ve always found that finding what you want out of life is more successful when you pursue the things that make you happy. Don’t be desperate; don’t be pushy. Be happy with yourself and that will shine through. Don’t let anyone make you think that you should’ve been in a relationship by now. That will only feed your own self doubt.
Since I was a teenager, I’ve been saying that I want someone to fall for me for me and not for what I made myself based on what others thought I should be. I think that’s what I’m finally applying to my life now. I’m not hiding behind a mask and I’m being honest about how I feel, what I think, and what I believe. My faith and love are a beautiful thing and, one day, I hope someone special will want to jump in this crazy life with me.
Until that day comes, I’m going to be so very happy with my life. Because there’s nothing missing in it. Last year, my first dream came true and I look forward to many more coming true in the near future. This is only the beginning.
Hopefully, this post answers that frequent question in the best way possible. Thanks for stopping by today. 🙂